Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovelies,
Love is in the air and sadly there is so much space between people these days. I am just getting started on my love journey. Though I am a geared focus student and majestic curator I still have insight into relationships at 17 and during this particular time in a pandemic. Right now it feels like I am living in one of Jenny Han’s novels because I am living the main character's life, where it includes me and entanglements with guys; and not the Jada Pinkett Smith kind!
[Disclaimer: I am used to dudes of all ages trying to get my attention, but it does not make it any less weird]
At first I did not know what it was about me that attracted them if it was my coily-curls, my wide eyes, my uplifting smile, my hazelnut complexion, my stellar sense of style, or my personality; Or I am (thinking way too much into this) just in love with myself. I realized that it was me all of me that guys liked, which is weird to me because I always thought of myself as beautiful (even when I was not at my best), and now it is like others can see that I am beautiful too?! I am allowed to date and I am even encouraged to by family because they constantly ask me: Are you dating anyone? Do you have a crush on someone? Isn't he cute? Those questions have become annoying and I could imagine the situations and the conversations that other girls my age get asked. It is honestly a problem with this culture because if you are a single woman then you are lonely or different (in a bad way), but with singularity is individuality.
After seeing To All the Boys I've Loved Before and P.S. I Still Love You, for the fifteenth time and the book inspired me to make a contract myself. [This contract can be versatile for anyone] I feel like I am at the strategic point of my young adulthood and I have some things to share with my future self about love, that I do not want to forget.
- I will only say I love you when I mean it
- I would want to be together because we would like each other, not because we are familiar with one another.
- Put yourself first but do not be vacant when needed
- I will never lie - I will never hurt you
- I will always be present in the relationship; Never talk about break-ups or think about it
- Do not tolerate the partner if they compare to their ex's
- We should strive and encourage ourselves to become better
- Be open-minded: watch, listen, travel, eat to what partner likes (versa)
- Learn Patience
- Be comfortable with the uncomfortable relationships
- Do not let the relationship get too serious; Try to put a smile on the face
- I will be your ride or die in a zombie apocalypse
- Never argue but explain, to move on because of an argument
- If you are permanent, I'll be your best friend #soulmate
- Look for intimacy, not intercourse
Dating is a commitment, not a challenge or a test trail. I have witnessed plenty of terrible relationships and if I would have said, YES, I could have been in them myself. When I am ready to date these are my conditions and I want to remember them no matter how my love seems; because love is a priority and is like nothing else. If this year has taught me anything is infinite and can stretch further than a day.
Always and Forever,
Natalia O.
